First thing's first. I am Happy. I am hopeful, i am for once in my life optimistic. My day may be going badly, but im hyper and almost giddy. I had nightmares and slept badly, but im still happy, my weekend will be full of frustration, anger, and emotional hurt, but im still HAPPY. And i havent been keeping up with my meds as well as i should be...but im still in a good frame of mind. I blame the usual suspects.
QAD: What's up? :D
QAD insane edition: What exactly is the purpose of a rubber duck in the mesurment of a square pie?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Odd Things Go Woosh In The Night (some religion, much drama, and a good dose of emotional instability)
Today started off with much grumbling and several death glares. I am not, nor have i ever been, a morning person. Then there was the DMV test, i missed it by 2 points... i'll study a bit before next week's retake. I got home, walked the dog, felt depressed about failing the test, worried about classes, worried a lot about the move, napped, etc. Then around 23:00 i 'exorcised' on the Wii... managed to hurt myself with the 'rhythm boxing', so far so normal. And then i walked the dog.
Thats pretty much average all in all. Except for the second dog walk. Everything about it was normal, up until i got about a block from my house. At that point i thought i had finally gone completely insane. It felt like every moment of depression, loneliness, emotional pain i had ever felt, all that awfulness had been gathered into one giant wall of pure, horrid mental anguish (colorful words aside, thats really the only way i can describe it.) It didn't come on slowly, there was zero build up, one moment i was fine, the next i was nowhere near it. It took all my effort to just stand there, to not cry or scream or fall over. All i could do was stand there and pray. I honestly don't know how long i stood there like that, probably a few minutes, if that. I don't know why that happened. All i know is what got me out of it. I was praying, and suddenly i felt better, the wind was blowing from the east, and everything was ok again, better than ok.
QOD: What do you think happened?
QOD2: Do ya think im crazy yet?
QOD Insane Edition: Fifteen hipogriphs walk into the Eiffel Tower and become giant mockingbirds with a fetish for purple nail polish. (Ask steph for details)
Thats pretty much average all in all. Except for the second dog walk. Everything about it was normal, up until i got about a block from my house. At that point i thought i had finally gone completely insane. It felt like every moment of depression, loneliness, emotional pain i had ever felt, all that awfulness had been gathered into one giant wall of pure, horrid mental anguish (colorful words aside, thats really the only way i can describe it.) It didn't come on slowly, there was zero build up, one moment i was fine, the next i was nowhere near it. It took all my effort to just stand there, to not cry or scream or fall over. All i could do was stand there and pray. I honestly don't know how long i stood there like that, probably a few minutes, if that. I don't know why that happened. All i know is what got me out of it. I was praying, and suddenly i felt better, the wind was blowing from the east, and everything was ok again, better than ok.
QOD: What do you think happened?
QOD2: Do ya think im crazy yet?
QOD Insane Edition: Fifteen hipogriphs walk into the Eiffel Tower and become giant mockingbirds with a fetish for purple nail polish. (Ask steph for details)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
