So. A lot has happened in a very short period of time, and its left me so tired.It's hard to believe its still May. A brief summary of the past few weeks: one of my best friends has been ignoring me, my parents found out about my plans to move, lots of school stress, grandmother in law is dead/dying.
And now to go into detail on how i feel about it all.
I'm really hurt that one of my best friends is ignoring me. He calls me his sister, but i dont find out about his latest breakup OR that he is back in the US from him, instead i find out with the help of Facebook. That hurt, it hurt even more when he completely ignored my message asking him to call me... :/
My parents and the move... oh boy. Hours of crying, and arguing and general unpleasantness. Now i hope to be in MO within 3-4 years... this makes me feel kinda stupid, and alone, and at times hopeless. And i know i shouldnt feel that way, but i do and that just adds another layer of feeling stupid.
School stress, well thats mostly finals and all the extra essays and papers i need to do by monday morning.
As for the death of a sorta relative... I cant say we were close, we arent even related by blood after all. But she was nice, and i had known her, i'd been to her home, eaten her cooking, used her restroom... odd things to remember a person by, but really, all i know is she was nice and she helped raise my cousins. So i'll remember her by her cooking, and her home, and her niceness, and others can remember her by her favorite things and her hobbies and such.
I guess these past few weeks have been painful in a way, and very very tiring. Emotionally and mentally i'm pretty much out of strength, i need to recharge, i wish i could spend the summer or at least a week or two in MO... I could use a real hug or 10. Im actually so bad of emotionally/mentally that the very thought of getting a real hug makes me cry... And you people claim i'm SANE.
QOD: Any advice?
QOD crazy edition: What is a spork-knife's favorite color?
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saddly i must b honest and say no.. i dont have any advice for u... i've been in a similar boat... the last week or 2 has ben such a hell for me, i have no idea if i'll recover...memories i wish werent there keep flooding back, as if god is punishing me for something i've done, tho i cant, for the life of me think of what would demand such an asault... i'll probibly talk to u about it on msn... but u'll have to ask.. and if u ask the right questions, then u'll get the full answer... but anyway... ya,,, i wish i could help u out, but it's hard to save someone, when ur floating right next to them :/
ReplyDeleteo... and to answer ur second question.... it's fave color is black, cause all it gets to wear is white. and being forced to accept this as it's inevidable fate, it longs only for the farthest distance from this god forsaken truth... that it'll never see what anything else is like
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