hey guys! sorry I haven't updated this thing in... a few months. Good news though: Im alive!
A lot has happened to me since my last update. I visited MO again, had a great time by the way. learned some interesting things in college, mainly archery and piano and that californians are flakey :P I joined a discipleship group, baked muffins, and generally hung out with girls from church a few times... And this week i visited the ER after sever stomach problems and fainting a few times... I'm a bit better now though.
There have been two or three big issues bugging me lately. The first is related to my college carrier, the second friendship, and the third... my salvation.
Lets start with my college carrier. Its going nowhere fast. My GPA is dismal, my total credits are few, and my funds are worse than the two combined. Truman said i shouldn't bother trying for at least another year, Huntington is too expensive, Ozarks requires better grades... Moody... i haven't checked yet, but probably all of the above. The problem is that i feel like i'm rotting away here. California is... not where i belong, and it's not where i am comfortable.
Next, friendship. It feels like i've been drifting away from some of my friends who's names may begin with R., I. and others at my church... I feel horrid about that. I feel even worse at the thought of growing apart from my BEST friend... So I made a vow or promise that that will NOT happen. I ask you to make sure of that. And i would like to get back to being close to my other friends too.
And last but FAR from least, my salvation. When i get into a rut with depression, self-hate etc. I start wondering things like 'Am I REALLY Saved, or have I just been fooling everyone, including myself, with the exception of God of course?' And that sends me into a darker place... When I fainted earlier this week I didn't think I was dying right then and there, I was afraid that i might go into a coma and THEN die though (remember i wasn't fully there...) and that scared me... was it just the thought of not saying bye to certain people? or was it my sub conscious saying 'im not ready to die, i dont want to go to hell!'? it worries and scares me.
Comments and thoughts are appreciated. ^,^
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment